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heather lee. [entries|friends|calendar]
heather lee.

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[11. 18. 07 // @ 4 : 30 pm]
i showed you our neighborhood, my bars, my school. i introduced you to my friends, my parents. i listened to your texts, your singing, your hopes, your desires, your music. you listened to mine. my italian, my german, a bit of russian. i gave you a walkman, you gave me a pillow. and one day, you kissed me. time went by, time flew, and everything seemed so easy, so simple, so free, so new, so unique. we went to the movies, we went dancing, we went shopping, we laughed, you cried, we swam, we smoked, we shaved. you screamed, for no reason, or for a reason. yes, sometimes for a reason.

we were close, so close, ever so close.

[11. 7. 07 // @ 10 : 07 pm]
there are times when life calls out for a change. a transition. like the seasons. our spring was wonderful, but summer is over now and we missed out on autumn. and now all of a sudden it's cold. so cold that everything is freezing over. our love fell asleep, and the snow took it by surprise. but if you fall asleep in the snow... you don't feel death coming.

take care.

addiction. [10. 7. 07 // @ 11 : 42 pm]
the thing about addiction is, it never ends well because eventually whatever it is that was getting you high stops feeling good and starts to hurt. still, they say you don't kick the habit 'til you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you're there? because no matter how badly a thing is hurting you, sometimes letting go is even worse.

[1. 9. 07 // @ 11 : 27 pm]
who has never killed an hour? not casually, or without thought, but carefully; a premeditated murder of minutes. the violence comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting past is all you can hope to accomplish. so you kill the hour. you do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. if you sleep, it is not because you need sleep. then when at last it is over, there is no evidence; no weapon, no blood, and no body. the only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes, or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth indicating something has been suffered, that in the privacy of your life, you have lost something, and the loss is too empty to share.

[11. 25. 06 // @ 12 : 00 pm]
it's almost everything that had always been around. but no one noticed it. everything that somehow just got lost and no one bothered to go looking for because they never noticed it was there in the first place. because of that: it ended up killing everything you thought you had a good grip on. every part of your life that you took for granted just disappeared. almost as if it was eaten by some infimate black abyss that was just sitting in your backyard waiting for the scraps. you forgot it just as easily.

somewhere between writing down names and numbers for when you get upset and need someone to spill every last detail about how your wife cheated on you with every man that crossed paths with her flaming hair and scribbling around the outer edge of the piece of paper delaying the phone call longer and longer because you cant seem to draw the turtle the correct way you want it to look. thats when you forgot how to move, but you just wanted to keep drawing and delaying with not even one thought to the fact your life was being sucked away by sparky the giant abyss. I'm sorry you killed off everything you ever wanted to hold on to. even the alcohol didnt want your kisses anymore. or maybe it was your stomach that couldnt take it anymore.

those last few steps before you got to the door was spent debating how hard you should knock. each decision crucial to the next move. knocking too light couldve indicated you were ok. (but everyone knew you werent) The result from knocking too hard is obvious to anyone what is going through you head. When you arrived at the door, all that thinking was pointless because you cowardly turned away and got into your car and left, only to rightfully prove what everyone thought about you in the first place. but obviously this story isnt about knocking on a door in the least bit.

stolen from just about everyone. [7. 7. 05 // @ 1 : 20 pm]
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal

hi. [6. 17. 05 // @ 9 : 00 pm]
Post anonymously, and say anything.

How much you hate me, how much you love me, how much you can't stand me, how much you want to have sex with me, how much more you want to spend time with me, how much you want to kill me. Anything about your life, your parents, friends, me, you, whatever. It can be whatever the fuck you what, and you can be brutally honest. Do it if you know me, do it if you've never met me. Just DO IT.
Remember, it's important that you comment anonymously.

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